My daughter came home from school the other day. As she does every day she pulled out her homework and got right to it. While we were sitting at the kitchen table she started to share with me her writing assignment which was given to her by her teacher and entitled, “My World Dreams”.
She let me know that she had listed her ideas and didn’t really need any help with the assignment and so I took a peek at what she wrote and it included the following and I quote:
1) The Homeless always have food
2) Everybody has a house
3) Everybody has at least 20 bucks
4) No one is left out
5) Love= Love your family, Love your world
6) Peace= No war, No guns
My initial reaction to reading her writing was sheer pride! My heart was about to burst at what was right before me– my beautiful daughter with desires to see justice and love in the world and experienced by all people. Simply wonderful!
As I stepped away and began reflecting more I realized that I had a second reaction and it was in the form of a question. This question being:
How do I continue encouraging hope in my child knowing that as she grows she will face her own sufferings, as well as that of the worlds? How do I shield her from cynicism or disappointment when she faces the reality that our world is broken?
It’s one of those burning questions and desires that I think we all have as parents. We want to see our kids hope, dream and invest in the world around and figure out ways in which we can encourage that in them, especially when they face difficulty.
When I was honest enough with myself I realized I was feeling fear at the potential of my daughter feeling discouraged, let down or hurt because the world can be a cold place and as pure and lovely as her dreams may be amongst our brokenness it is an uphill battle that we fight to live into more inclusivity, acceptance, justice and peace.
And then came the truth– the truth being that– I can’t shield my daughters from disappointment and pain. They will experience those realities (which touch on levels of insecurity– but that’s for another day). It’ll be part of their process as they grow into their fully integrated womanhood and learn ways to incorporate their passions, their dreams and their hopes in order to live authentically.
Although I can’t completely protect them from feeling disillusioned or experiencing disappointment what I can do is continue to encourage them in growing towards a place of continual hope
by
allowing them to honestly feel whatever it is they are feeling– discouraged, hopeless, helpless and frustrated, etc. Giving them the space to express that those feelings are real and have meaning, too.
Authentic living requires honesty to feel whatever it is that we feel in response to the ever-constant- moving stimuli that surround us.
And it’s from that place in which hope can be re-engaged.
I have a dream and that is to guide my daughters in a way that gives them a foundation in which they are always able to engage the world with bold, creative, wildly courageous hope.
Dee boy where does a person begin to try to help our loved ones especially our kids. to allow them a open environment where they feel save and can speak of their concerns and hurts and joys in life. I came from a family that was uncomfortable with life issues and it often leave you looking in areas for answers that are not safe. My encouragement to you is to continue the good work you are involved in as a Mom. I am proud and love you ..Dad
Dad, thanks for courageously modeling a kind of parenting that allows openness and also the transparency of our ‘flawed-ness’. We’re all learning and growing
Love you, Dee